Previously, on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Uh, Stea slips and falling down 80 feet.
I'm going to use my Rod of Lordly Might and I'm going to like slide down it.
And you ride that ladder down, guacamole comes down and picks you up.
And you turn back, the hallway begins to undulate and the right turn opens into
a large dark room.
You feel like you're being watched back from this room.
All friends, do we really want to enter this dark chamber we can't see into?
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I don't really like the dark room.
So yeah, back to that other hallway.
You know, Laura, you turn to follow your friends and then you hear one of your
friends is a traitor.
Which one of you is betraying me?
Not again!
Nobody's trying to betray you.
The yawn T told me one of you is a traitor.
Well, there's your problem right there.
Johnny.
Oh, it's uh, there's some snake guys in there.
I see this and I will dash.
So you run into what you now see as this lit room.
You came to stop me.
It has nothing.
Yeah, that's what I said.
It has nothing to do.
No, that's what I said.
With this dwarf.
I just keep cutting her off.
You hear her in your mind and she says,
Now I must ask you to touch your friend.
As you are both walking towards Thea, all the other yawn T begin to crowd around
as well.
And she says, You must never come back here.
Can we take Varam?
She looks down to him and she says, Varam is of no use.
And she says, Stop.
And Flint and Newbara get your minds back.
And she hands you the chains that are around Varam's neck.
And you step out into the daylight and you look and you see Grancis yell down
from his airship and says, Oh boy, you guys done yet?
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a fifth edition Actual Play podcast.
I am your Dungeon Master Russ More and with me today studying very hard is Amy More.
Super hard.
Is the new way we greet each other.
Also with me today is Carla Johnson.
Super hard.
And Tom Laird.
Super hard.
Thanks guys.
Now it doesn't seem so weird.
Yeah, now it seems totally normal.
That seems like we're normal people doing a normal thing.
This is how human beings function.
Yeah.
May start greeting people in my day to day life like this.
Ring ring.
Super hard.
See moms out dropping Addy off at school.
Hey Debra.
Super hard.
Guys, this is our this is our winter solstice first parter of hopefully only two parter episodes.
Happy winter solstice.
Wait, that's happy birthday solstice.
It's public domain.
It's public domain now.
It's okay.
Yeah.
Is it?
Yeah.
Happy birthday.
Well somebody used to.
Somebody does.
I didn't.
When did it switch to public domain?
It used to be Sony I think and they made like a bajillion dollars off of it
and then.
I think it was like two years ago or so.
Yeah about that where it was like oh whoops just kidding we don't.
But we're not going to give that money back though.
No no.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Well that's good to know.
Okay.
I don't have to take that one out though.
Nope.
Where you can listen to some great bonus content DM'ed by Tom Laird is on Patreon.
Hey guys.
We have six patrons now.
Yay.
And we are going to dedicate.
J-Con.
Stop it.
And we randomly dedicate an episode which I'm going to talk about that oopsie in a
second too to one of our patrons and that patron today is Cat Waterflame.
What a bitchin' name.
Right?
Yeah that's pretty amazing.
That is an amazing name.
It makes me think it's a D&D name because it's so rad.
It makes me want to immediately make her into an NPC but.
Yeah Ross can you do that?
I don't know what level she's at like.
Well she is at the $10 level and has given me a name to which I'm working on a character
for in the future.
This is new uncharted territory for us.
Well I know Adam took a long frickin' time to get me his name so he's coming
up too.
Classic Adam.
No it wasn't Grancis.
I will announce the name when they come up.
No that was my own volition.
That was a Russ More original.
All the greatest names.
Not a real name.
So thank you Cat for joining the community.
She says she really loves the she like binged through our whole campaign and then signed
up for Patreon right away after that.
Oh that's amazing.
It's hours of content.
I know right.
That is shocking and wonderful.
It is.
But crazy.
Cat you crazy.
In the nicest way possible.
Oh absolutely.
I just don't want to spend that much time with us but it blows my mind that other
people do.
I can seriously only stand you guys for about like two hours a week.
That's fair.
We're like those news anchors who act like they're really friends on the air but then
as soon as the cameras are off are total bitches to each other.
We're talking like Anchorman when it's like I'm going to punch you in the boob.
Or they're just Matt Lauer.
They're harassing everyone when the cameras are off.
Yeah back to bringing it bringing it back to political all the time.
That's nothing to do with politics.
No it's true.
I mean it ties into politics somewhere along the way.
That's a logical connection that you made.
Not me good sir.
All right.
Fair enough.
Anyways thank you cat.
We really appreciate you and your patronage.
If you want to join us on Patreon visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
The what day is it today?
It's December 22nd.
So those of you who are patrons of us and were before December 1st should have received
your holiday cards which is of a sweet design that I made myself.
Full disclosure when Russ said it was December 22nd I was like no it's not.
Right.
Yeah that's not how this works.
It's not even December 22nd it's December 20th because I can I can read a calendar.
Well it appears that you can't read a calendar.
I was wrong as it is.
Yeah so you should have received your holiday cards if you haven't I'm very sorry.
It's probably my fault this is past Russ apologizing for future Russ.
And one final touch of business our next episode which comes out I'm going to check
the calendar again just in case I'm wrong.
On January 3rd that one's right is our one year anniversary episode which will
have a party giveaways.
Depending on how this episode goes we'll have none of those well there might be might
be a party who knows but we'll have a cool monster from a listener of the
Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.
We're gonna have a cool monster from the Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.
From a listener of the Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.
Oh you didn't say listener.
I did say listener.
I'm gonna go roll it back in the tape.
Anybody else on?
Anybody else?
That we recorded has a lot of like no you were wrong yeah there's a lot of
playback and it turns out I'm right all the time.
Suspicious suspicious that the guy that does the editing makes it so he's right all the time.
Very suspicious.
You know what anytime you guys want to change that you just let me know.
Nope it's all you bud.
Yep that's what I thought.
Can you put in some cricket chirping sound effects for me?
Yeah perfect.
Or is that is that not free use or whatever?
I think that's I think that's pod safe.
I think I have a paid for cricket so it should be fine.
Yeah so let's play D&D.
You guys leveled up last time.
Last time we you made it out of the tomb of Diderius and gained a level and what
did you gain at that level?
We'll start with Carla because she is most ready that I can see.
Nothing too exciting at level 10.
Level 11 is going to get real rad.
Level 10 though I got a new type of favored terrain which I've added coastline to I
already have forest and swamp.
I basically do nothing with this but it's you know sometimes I remember it's a thing
that exists and make it helpful for me.
The other major thing I got was hide in plain sight.
So I can spend a minute to camouflage myself and like if I stay still then I get a plus
10 to dex on stealth checks so I can hide.
Yeah I picture it like that creepy makeup that PETA puts on in the Hunger Games game.
Yeah so I can basically do that.
It is also my history as a cake decorator that gets me these dope skills.
Careful he loses a leg in that book.
Spoiler alert for Hunger Games.
That's cool well I'll give you a little warning that those may come in handy for you
actually not just me telling you that to appease your character but
that could very well come in handy at some point in the near future.
Sweet.
How about you Tom?
What's Flint got?
For the champion fighter not a lot really changes.
I did get a second fighting style and I picked defense so my AC gets a plus one bonus now
and yeah that was really about it got some more hit points so that's cool.
What are you up to 600 hit points now?
Just like a cash million.
Oh nice nice.
I forgot to update my hit points.
Yes.
I did all my other stuff but not that.
Don't forget your hit points.
So yeah you add your hit points a hit dice plus your constitution don't forget that.
Oh I did forget that.
Flint what kind of dwarf are you?
Are you a hill or a mountain dwarf?
I am a mountain dwarf.
It's a really personal question to ask somebody.
You can't just ask someone what kind of dwarf they are.
Well I can and I did.
I was trying to make a mean girl's joke.
Side note it also does say mountain dwarf on my character sheet.
Yeah that's right again I have not looked at your character sheets in a very long time
so yeah that's cool no just checking.
Yeah the fighter was pretty straightforward.
How you doing Amy?
I'm good.
What you updating?
I'm updating I get a new spell in my fifth level spell slot very exciting.
That's going to be a real powerful one that's going to be incredible.
Yeah sometimes though the really powerful ones I look at it and I'm like I'm never
going to use that though there is one where I can literally reanimate or recreate a body
for a dead thing and it will live inside this body and inhabit it as a new it still
has all of its old memories but it is now like if Flint died and there was a dead
elf that was dead for less than 10 days I could put Flint's essence into this
elf and he would now live as an elf.
But I'm not going to pick that one.
That's creepy.
Because I'm the one who dies and so you know it's like when it's like when Joey's
character on days of our life ends up falling down the elevator shaft and going into a
coma and the only one who can save him was himself it'd be like that.
Some good writing.
Yeah so I'm going to choose I don't know how to say this Gaius?
Yeah.
Okay so I can place a magical command on a creature that I can see within range
and I can force it to carry out some service or refrain from some action or course of
activity as I decide.
Fun.
Yeah if the creature can understand me it must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or
become charmed by me for the duration and the duration is like 30 days he dies.
Whoa.
Yeah it must succeed on a wisdom saving throw and if it doesn't it takes 5d10
psychic damage each time it acts in a manner directly countering to my instructions.
But no more than once each day.
Elves get kind of creepy as they get more powerful.
I'm glad you're on my team.
Yeah I can't force it to kill itself though because that's the spell will end.
Yeah as soon as anything puts itself in danger it stops.
So you can't force it to kill itself.
No not in danger just if it is a suicidal action it says.
Yeah so you can't say go jump off that cliff.
Exactly or stab yourself through the heart.
But I can say stop fighting us so we can kill you.
Or you could have a buddy for 30 days.
You can't just have a new friend.
Just have a buddy.
So yeah that's um that's what I got.
I also got.
The internet tells me it's pronounced Gesh.
Gesh.
But you can pronounce it however you want.
Okay I'm immune to poison and disease.
I cannot be charmed or frightened by elementals or fays.
I got some extra hit points.
And that's that's pretty much it.
So that's your new character thingamadoodles.
You guys emerge from the tomb of Diderius.
And Grancis is overhead and he says uh hey hey guys it's I've been looking for you.
And uh maybe maybe we should probably get out of here because
that's probably a good idea.
So you guys uh he lands in an open area and your horses which are which are still there
all get on board.
And there is a holding cell for Vram down beneath beneath the surface of the of the airship
in the in the hold I think is what it's called.
I'm trying to remember.
Yeah sure we'll call it the brig.
That seems like a good term.
It's a ship.
It's like airship.
That makes sense.
Next time I'm going to look up ship terms.
And have those ready.
So he is there it's about sorry please go ahead.
Yeah so you guys lock him up down there.
Lock him up down there.
You got about a two-ish two-ish day two and a half day uh flight back to water deep.
Anyone want to play that crazy game with the dice?
We were so good at it.
We probably should.
We were so good at it.
Is Vram he is like pretty unhealthy yes?
Yeah he looks like he's been beaten and tortured quite severely.
So he isn't really at this point offering up much.
After kind of about the first day he kind of comes to a little bit more.
Well I know that we will probably all need a long rest so as soon as we get on the ship
lots of napping is going to happen.
Thea will meditate in her room for a little bit.
Like 20 minutes and then you're good.
Yeah that was me smoking weed.
Well you got a you got a bag that holds 50 pounds of weed.
So that's all she has in there guys.
I think it's funny that in game somehow there has become like well not even become
this has been since we originally started playing this game the like weed thing when in real life
this is not like something this is not like a part of our day-to-day at all.
It's really funny to me.
I don't think I've ever touched a joint.
It makes me laugh that it's like I don't know why we decided to put this in game.
I don't know four people less equipped to talk about accurately make jokes about it even.
I do feel like an imposter.
How can I accurately talk about this?
It makes me laugh.
You're just playing the character it's fine.
You guys rest up for kind of the first day that you're back on the ship
and then you weirdly or a little bit more rejuvenated now come up to the deck and
Grancis is steering the way and he says what uh what went on down there with you guys
looks like you got beat up pretty bad there.
That's not my voice already already that's my voice.
Yeah that's it 88 miles an hour.
Okay what happened to you guys?
Grancis can you make some pancakes?
Oh shit yeah uh okay.
There I got rid of him and he goes he kind of you see him tap the steering wheel
and it straight it holds straight and he runs downstairs and whips up some pancakes.
Fantastic I hate that guy you guys I hate him.
I love his voice though not a name.
I will reserve judgment until I taste these pancakes.
Do you hear from down below you guys like you guys like blueberries blueberries in there?
Love them Grancis.
Sweet love them.
What are you guys doing?
Well he's whipping you up blueberry pancakes.
I pull out a deck of cards and ask if anyone would like to play a card.
Am I making any pancakes for the dwarf in the cell?
Yeah yeah right probably.
Okay yeah we should uh should we we should probably like chat with him or at least
try to chat with him a bit.
That's probably a good idea.
We could bring him pancakes kind of yeah.
Be like hey we saved you and gave you pancakes tell us what we need to know
and I remember what that is.
Which one of us three is he gonna Stockholm Syndrome over?
Oh uh well he's gonna like you the most because you got that belt that makes dwarves love you.
Oh yeah oh yeah all right perfect.
So you uh you guys eat your pancakes first and then go.
And then bring pancakes down for veram I think so.
And then Flint goes in wearing only his belt of dwarven charm.
Yeah BT Dubbs these are the best pancakes you've ever had.
Oh see I'm on board with Grancis now.
I begrudgingly um accept Grancis as one of us and I'm high so it's like.
You guys like the pancakes?
Best pancakes ever.
Oh the great Grancis.
Be a Graps or 12.
Good good good.
Okay well I'm gonna go uh take a take a pancake to go and go uh steer the ship.
You guys just hang out you know Mikasa is Sukasa.
What place is this?
I don't know.
Fuck.
Lordy.
Mikasa is Sukasa.
Gotta make sure we're hitting the 88 miles per hour.
Uh so uh Flint goes in.
Let's just hope the Libyans don't show up.
So Flint goes in uh only in this belt of dwarven kind with pancakes.
I can't wear all my other clothes and the belt guys.
I don't know if you can.
I mean it was the last thing said.
I would suggest that maybe uh Thea and I go in first.
He'll probably hate us because we're two of the least charming people that exist.
We saved him but we saved him.
I don't know I'm kind of charming.
Thea is very charming.
I am not but then certainly you know like good cop bad cop bad cop bad cop good cop.
It's right he'll be like oh god I have to deal with you and then
and then Flint will come in with this you know his dwarfness and his bitchy belt.
His dick hanging out and he'll be like finally someone I can trust.
Nothing dreams trust like a naked dwarf.
Right?
Okay so who's going in first?
We can go in together with pancakes kind of like uh.
Okay so you you open the door to the brig and you walk in with pancakes and he's uh he looks like he's sleeping.
Wakes up and he's oh who who are you are are you the three that keep fucking up plans for everybody?
You've heard of us.
You got that kind of familiar look about you like I seen a picture but the nose is a little bit off in the picture.
Well we did just save you is that are those the plans that we're fucking up?
Yeah with death your plan because we totally was your plan torture and then death because
we definitely messed that up by rescuing your ass.
Yeah no that was not part of the plan.
Uh no the plans I was talking about are like the dragon cults plans and you know.
Go on.
Well you know I don't want it.
What do you got there?
Pancakes.
We brought you some food.
Oh that would be great I mean I'm feeling a lot better after being out of them serpenty areas.
Speaking of serpenty areas this is when Flint walks in.
Oh god.
Who's the naked dwarf?
I feel so bad for Flint this is just happening.
This doesn't have to happen you don't have to be naked.
Okay sorry I had just had to make a serpenty joke.
I have to get the first.
No I'm on board it's happening it's canon.
Flint is also just a serial nudist I mean we've had talks with him about it before
but you know.
Well at one point I was a never nude but now I've shed that
now I'm full blown in the other direction.
How does that happen?
It's kind of believable it's like when someone quits smoking and then they're like
the most anti-smoking person that exists so.
That's true.
You've like really over corrected.
Yeah he's ripped off those jean shorts.
I steered into the skin.
What?
Veram reaches for the pancakes.
Who's holding the pancakes?
One of us.
Carla you're the least likable so you should probably be giving him the pancakes.
Okay okay so I give him the pancakes.
And he takes them and is voraciously eating them like he hasn't eaten in many many days.
So Veram what happened with the auntie what were they trying to get out of you?
Uh do you know I I don't uh nothing really I mean they tried to hold me hostage and
I fed them some line like oh I'll give you all the money in the world and it didn't really work.
Were they asking you about anything specific?
No no they didn't seem to know who I was or why I was there so
I mean it's fortuitous that you guys showed up because I said my people would come for me
and then you guys you guys came in and I guess they just kind of rolled with it.
Why were you there?
Uh well I mean where are you guys taking me?
Why were you there?
I was uh well okay how much do you know?
How much do you know?
I know it all.
Oh we know stuff.
We definitely know some things.
We are not without information.
You guys tell me where you're taking me and I will tell you what I know.
You know it's weird that you think you can negotiate with us because you're in a cell
and we just saved your life.
In the air.
So maybe you should just give us some information about what your plans are.
I snatched the plate of pancakes back.
What the cult's plans are.
Why you were trying to maybe screw over the cult?
Uh make an intimidation check there Karla.
Oh intimidate the fuck out of him Karla.
Oh I'm going to maybe.
No I won't I don't have very good bonus for intimidation.
Oh my god but I rolled a nat 20.
He peed his pants.
He's so scared.
He he looks kind of startled and taken aback by your abruptness and he says look okay I
wasn't I wasn't trying to do anything against the cult okay.
I was look I just I lost my mask and I was trying to find it with the divination pool.
That's all.
How'd you lose your mask?
Then those serpents up well I mean you put it down one day.
No seems like a pretty powerful thing to just lose.
You would think it was stolen.
There we go.
By someone and I lost it and I couldn't find it and I went to the divination pool
to try to find it and then the then the auntie showed up and they took me prisoner.
Did you get to ask the divination pool?
Uh yeah yeah I did.
And?
Uh well um.
And?
I mean it's okay the the cult of the dragon has it and if I go back I'm pretty much dead.
So there's my cards you guys are you guys I will help you wherever I can okay.
I can't go back there they will kill me.
Is flint looking a little sad that he didn't need to use his belt
slash naked form to charm the storm?
Now can that man please put some clothes on?
It's the reason why he gave all the information to begin with.
What's gonna happen with the naked dwarf?
Why is he here?
Just I'll tell you anything you want to know just make him get here.
He's the world champion of what?
All right I leave and go get like my actual clothes on.
I like that you don't say anything.
You said no word.
You stand behind us naked and then once we hear what we want to hear you just turn around and you leave.
It's the best like interview like strategy ever.
Yeah it is.
Carla thinks she rolled a really good intimidation check for the whole time.
It's just them toms.
I got Tom to roll a passive intimidation check in the whisper chat.
It's fine it's good.
I can't go back there.
Great why don't you tell us something we might need to know.
Tell us everything you know.
Yeah like what do you got?
Well um well what okay you tell me what you know and I'll fill in the blanks.
You know nothing.
Oh Russ you know we can't remember what happened before the exact interaction that's happening.
How close is the dragon cult to raising Tiamat?
Um like if you put it on a scale of like one to ten I mean they've got a lot of the pieces.
Because that's the way you tell time.
You didn't use that scale at all.
What can you tell us about the Drakorn?
Oh you want to know about the horn do you?
Yeah they got the Drakorn at the well of the dragons with just about everything else there.
And the well of the dragons is?
Oh you guys really don't know what's going on.
Okay good let me just fill in fill you in here okay.
Now hold on I'm gonna fill you in but I need some guarantee that I'm gonna be treated with
an ounce of respect once I land wherever we land that you still haven't told me where we're
landing.
We will let you wear clothes.
I went and put my clothes on didn't I?
And we just gave you the world's best blueberry pancakes like.
They were.
God.
They were they were pretty good.
I haven't had blueberry pancakes like that since Mimima made me blueberry pancakes.
It was super good super good.
Okay the well of the dragons it's in an extinct volcano in the northern end of the
Sunset Mountains.
Cool.
So they've got the Drakorn there calling dragons from all over the who knows it
and that's where they got the white mask and any of the other
masks and all the worm speakers usually hang out there generally speaking.
Pause.
What's a worm speaker?
The guys who wear the masks.
Why are they called worm speakers?
Because worm is a baby dragon.
Guys new information for me.
Did you guys know this?
Like worm W-Y-R-M correct?
Yeah.
Oh all right unpause.
Yeah that's information that I had previously in my head.
Tell me something we don't already know.
Roll a persuasion check.
What am I persuading?
Uh 17 persuasion 19.
All right so you guys know a little bit that's good.
Persuading him not to think we're idiots.
Yeah I guess so yeah nailed it.
In your personal opinion having been a part of this uh certain organization
what would you?
Would not recommend as a as a as an employer like I would not put them in the top 70.
They kind of uh they're kind of kind of bitches.
Okay what what would like a one star yell.
Yeah that's that's what's a yelp.
What would be the uh the thorn in their craw.
What could we do that would really fuck some shit up for them and disrupt their plans.
We do not want TMET to rise.
Let's just leave the card zone on the table here.
That's just going to be bad news for everybody.
I don't care who you are.
Yeah no no that's uh now that I'm not in the inner circle
and I probably would be murdered on sight it's uh probably best if that doesn't happen.
Oh well I mean there's there's a couple couple waypoints a couple organizations helping them
out that uh that you might want to like shut down uh like the wizards of the fae.
You probably want to try and disrupt whatever they got going on because the wizards of they
are the actual ones conducting the the will be conducting the spell uh that will be bringing
TMET back and you said there was a couple of groups helping them out.
Oh yeah uh you probably could find uh some folks that are still in the inner circle
who got a little they're a little disgruntled employees yeah they're not so happy with
what's going on there like they don't want TMET to rise but they're just kind of
pushing papers as it were uh you could uh yeah you could track there's a couple guys
stationed or they were last stationed at Xanthal's tower.
Any names?
Oh yeah yeah uh the uh the two high ranking cultists that you're going to find there
are in command you're going to find uh Nergoth Bladelord and Jorgen Paul uh and uh
uh Iskender Iskender he's there too.
Are these humans or these dwarves? Could you give us just a brief description?
You need to know Flint needs to be naked again.
No no you keep your clothes on bud.
Ah I mean oh okay.
Well Nergoth he runs he kind of runs around he's uh with like the demi-litches uh he's
kind of an un like an undead kind of guy he's pretty easy to point out he's a big big
dude looks like a like his face is falling off all the time it's kind of gross um yeah
but he he's easy to find Iskender he's a he's a human he's kind of a wizardy guy
and uh he's an older fellow long black hair once you get in there I mean they
have their tower their quarters and stuff name plates on the door yeah I mean it's
pretty easy to fight we're very organized in terms of in terms of that sort of thing.
And what about old Jorgen?
Jorgen yeah he's he's a human as well but yeah they're I mean Nergoth especially he's kind
of part of the old guard the uh the demi-litch is there and he's unhappy with the way things
are going well yeah he doesn't want Tiamat to come back because Tiamat's one bad bad
and uh and he's the bad and he wants to bring the Dracoliches back yeah what's the deal with
the Dracoliches uh yeah well the Dracoliches they they they're like they're undead dragons
and they just kind of go around bringing back dead dragons as as Dracoliches
ah so creating an army of undead dragons yeah I mean he's the kind of guy you want
to have on your side and why are these other guys unhappy they're in the same boat
you know they uh they don't want Tiamat to come back they want power for themselves
they've kind of feel that Tiamat's playing Severin and when she comes back she's just
gonna wreck all the shit and no matter where you are in the ranks clear in the house
well if I was Tiamat that's what I'd do it's dicks
yep yep that's fair that's fair wouldn't have offered you pancakes if we were in the flip
situation just putting that out there uh but you're not wrong there what else you got
oh man it's good for now go have a nap yeah we're we're gonna be bringing you to
our peeps in water deep so if you can you know mull over what you've told us today
refine it a little bit get a little more detail I bet you're gonna be saying it again soon
yeah that's cool it'll probably happen off camera so that's good it's good
run what's a camera what she's just kind of awkwardly back out of the room there what do
you do thoughts are yeah probably abruptly turn and leave uh we'll be back because we
probably will realistically yes it's a great way to act all right if you could whip me up some
more of those pancakes that'd be super nice too no talk to grants us about it all right just
don't let the naked guy bring him back okay oh he'll bring them oh shit and he won't be
using his hands to hold the plate oh my god I don't understand what that means but
I don't understand what kind of bAlydince we think I don't know it just it just nobody knows
just came out nobody knows but everyone's getting a real weird visual flint got an attribute
bonus oh god so we leave yeah yes god we leave
awkward interaction that's our most of them I know you already said this for us but I guess
I want to ask grants is how long until we get where we're going it's still a couple days
yeah yeah uh yeah you go back up and you ask him that and he said well you know we're uh
uh we've been going for about a day we got about a day left so you can just kind of hang out
uh I'm never gonna get this voice on the first fucking try uh yeah yeah and just kind of kind
of chill for a day it'll be fine I go down to where the horses are and I I spend some time
with tiny you go down but they're on the deck I go up to where the horses are and I spend
some time with tiny and I brush him and I tell him how pretty he is
thea was feeling really bad about leaving them and just glad it all worked out kind of play games
and rest and uh find uh ways to kill the time uh grants makes more pancakes for dinner because
he knows you guys love him so much it's a lot of carbs a lot of carbs oh it's easy
to pack flour and blueberries and blueberries fresh fresh blueberries amazing he just had them
uh so you guys uh finish out your journey and you uh see up ahead grazas yells so we're uh
we're just about here oh oh boy it doesn't look like it's very good down there um but you see
the city of Waterdeep itself looks quite it looks fine like it doesn't look like there's any
damage but uh the the walls look like they've taken some damage around the city there's
scorched earth all along the outside uh looks like there has been a recent or many attempts
of breaking into Waterdeep right now it looks kind of calm but like much of the other
growth and cities that you've seen traveling through ferun it is quite disturbed at this
point as you get closer to Waterdeep two hippogriffs mounted by guards fly up and
fly beside the ship and they yell to you and say what's your business in water deep
we're bringing a prisoner the guard that was speaking looks to you and says oh
oh i'm sorry Nulara and and flint it's you you're perfectly welcome to go in land and
uh deal with your prisoner as you as you see fit what happened here uh there's been many
attempts to uh to breach breach into water deep uh by cultist members and by other groups
but we've managed to stave them off so far good job thank you thank you and uh they uh
escort you into water deep and Grancis lands the airship down um and you are greeted by two
other guards bearing insignias of the harpers and they come up to the ship and say uh Nulara
thea flint it's uh it's we're happy to have you back the council uh has been has been
concerned uh that you might have uh have died in some of the battles that have been going
on across Faerun but it's wonderful to see you back they'll be fan it'll be fantastic news i
will uh take escort you to the osin if there's anything else you need we can sort that out
along the way i grabbed by the shoulders i shake him i say what year is it um well
and then i just laugh and then start to walk away oh okay uh we have a and i lean out the
window and go you there boy what day is it today
it's a thursday sir you're supposed to tell me it's christmas day rust get with the program
it's not though it's not a christmas day christ doesn't exist in this narrative what
just some guy down the street we have a prisoner a high level prisoner that needs to be
taken somewhere secure yes yes of course uh uh bring him yeah bring him we will escort you
and him down to uh down to the down to the brig and and then take you to the osin and you
can you can deal with uh deal with matters at hand great do you want some pancakes
oh no i i'm fine i just ate um they're really good Grancis you're the best
fucking pancakes you've ever eaten well maybe later maybe later um and you uh you bring veram
and the four of you grants his tags along uh take veram take him to the prison and
you sign him in there with the guards and he takes you up to go see leo's
my goodness it's been so long since we've seen you we thought we thought the worst i
know it's only been a month and a half but we thought you'd be back quick after we heard you
were back dropped macoth back at the arcane brotherhood nothing's ever simple with us leo's
in we follow our hearts yeah yeah the spirit of the adventure uh i you know i've gathered
that from dealing from from us dealing together uh that's great we brought veram the white he's
no longer uh let's say affiliated with the cult of the dragon he has a lot of interesting
information oh you went right to get veram well that's wonderful news um and you said you brought
him he's alive he's alive and disgruntled with his former employer wonderful that is great news
um we shall have him interrogated and find out what we can get from him the council meets in a
few days and they would bid you to join them we can't get them together any quicker than
that so if you need places to stay we will put you up but if there's anything anything
else you've found out please please try and make note for the council meeting and i will
make sure that they know that you will attend uh yeah i think we could use a little a little
bit of a break until then right guys of course yes accommodations would be nice yes yes we'll
get you the finest accommodations where you can rest and and relax and uh and then we will
see you again in a few days if we need anything from you before then we will be
sure to send someone to call for you and he uh he asked the guards to take you to the tower
where there are some some sweets that you each have um and as you guys lollipops
no rooms uh is there sweets in the sweets though there is a there is a spread of sweets
and yeah and other baked goods uh in each of your rooms so you can you can gorge yourself
as you see fit um as you are all going into your rooms you see grants this also is is going
into a room but he already has a key um and he yells down as you guys enter your rooms and
he says hey uh hey uh maybe you know in a few days uh i was just looking at the calendar
there down in Leosin's office it's uh it's the winter solstice celebration maybe we could uh
you know if you guys weren't doing anything got plants sorry they slammed my door have a
dinner at my place i shoot him a thumbs up why have you become the fonds
i'm not giving him two thumbs up okay hey i'm gonna take that as a solid solid yes
okay i'll see you guys i'll be there great i'm looking forward to it i'm gonna whole
i'm gonna do some cooking it's gonna be great and he skips into his room he's quite happy but
uh unless you guys say anything else to each other and you just ghost into your rooms and
i've already left i'm already in my room i'm eating sweets i'm four cupcakes and like marzipan
in flint and Nulara you you as well are marzipanning i am going to like i'll go into
the room but i don't need or want this room i'm gonna you know maybe like get some sweets
of course i'm not an animal yeah i'm not a monster clearly i'm only human i need all the
all the good stuff um but i'm gonna like piece out of town as much as i can um i don't know
how secure it is like outside the city walls and honestly i probably don't really care like i
want to get to the woods i want quiet and i want to sure just like have some time to commune with
nature a little bit away from everything you uh you try to get out of the city um they have
all the gates pretty heavily locked down and even though you are Nulara they don't allow
you pass but there is within the city mount water deep which is an entire forested area
which you find yourself drawn to and it's away from the city and there's an entire cliff face
that overlooks the ocean and you make your way up there
flint what are you doing right away uh probably grabbing some sweets and then meandering down
to the old smith and shop sure see if there's anything i can uh take a gander at sure yeah
you there are uh within immediate walking distance there are a couple smitherees
smith shops uh one called sarin's fine swords and one called brian the swords masters uh let's
go check out sarin's shop you walk into sarin's and it is your is your standard
run-of-the-mill blacksmith um and in there you uh immediately see a younger female dwarf
who's working on looks like a piece of plate armor um and she looks up at you and says what
can i do you for thea what are you doing uh thea smokes a big bowl of weed in the middle
of her bed just in quiet she's meditating at the same time enjoying herself um she's also
brought over several plates of the sweets and is stuffing her face that's just what she's
doing right now yeah so thea spends a better part of the afternoon partaking in her own
supply and uh and gorging herself on fine sweets and then what does she do for the
rest of the couple days oh for the rest of the couple days nice and relaxed uh thea heads down
to peruse through the different shops is there a feather shop by any chance uh yeah madame
mistress's feathers wonderful thea would like to go in there and browse around of course you
open the the door to the feather shop you immediately are struck in the face by feathers
oh thea's happy and they just brush past you and you walk in and you hear a voice from the back
say oh yes come on in it's welcome to madame mistress's feather shop what can i do for you
i need your biggest fluffiest most colorful feathers oh my golly we just got a fresh batch
of hippogriff feathers in let me go get them from the box here and she runs back and brings
out a box of enormous silky hippogriff feathers these will do well how many do you need all of
them well all okay do you you got some okay that's that will be uh 50 50 gold and i give
her the money wonderful wonderful what are you making with these these fine feathers
i just smile at her take my feathers and walk out okay well pleasure doing business
come back and tell your friends about us Nulara you've made camp up on mount water deep
and you're overlooking the ocean and you see uh there are plenty of ships coming and going
and what is Nulara doing honestly like uh i have a i have a campfire and like kind of a
rustic camp and i'm trying to trap you know some some small game to eat like i am used to living
rough and i want to be living rough so i'm whippling and staring at the fire and kind of
just relaxing but in a very rustic way there are some things that i look for in the woods
to get my gifts ready for my friends you spend the bulk of your time out there and on the second
day that you're out there um you you've seen them coming and going but you notice hippogriff
guards kind of converging just a little bit north from where you are and that's kind of
caught your attention how many are there probably lots hey you see them coming and going
but you've seen about about seven or eight different hippogriffs throughout different parts
of the day are they behaving suspiciously is that why i know no no no you just noticed
that they're all kind of coming and going to uh the same same same-ish spot from where you've
you've plunked yourself down well like i saw go say hi i was thinking you were saying they
were far away no no they're on the mountain there um you uh you work your way through uh
through the forest and you come to about the point where you thought they were they were
headed and you see a large airy um which has brandished the insignia of the city guard of
water deep and as you get closer you are greeted a little abruptly by two human guards
and they say oh what are you doing here i've been camping on the mountain i saw you coming
and going i guess i just wanted to come take a look at what's going on see these hippogriffs
up a little bit closer the uh there's a male and a female and the male is speaking to you
uh the female kind of kicks him uh and gives a knowing nod towards you and he looks again
and says oh oh i'm sorry new laura uh i didn't didn't notice you i didn't expect uh didn't
expect any any any of the higher-ups to be to be up here um yeah yeah feel free to come look
around this is where we this is where the hippogriffs it's where we we stable them
and they come and go from here and what are your names i'm i'm philip uh and this is uh
eva it's nice to meet you it's a it's a pleasure to pleasure to meet you um are
are are your friends around or is it just you uh just just me just me i like to be
outdoors more than i like to be indoors of course of course yeah uh let me uh let me
show you show you around um and she ushers you towards the open barn door of this of
this area okay i want to go see the giant animals you follow uh she ushers you in and she follows
in quickly behind you philip stays back and uh you walk in and the six of the eight stables
have hippogriffs in them and you walk up to these enormous creatures they are slightly
bigger than a horse as you would normally see them even bigger than tiny and they have
one of them opens their wings and it is an enormous almost 20 foot span
and the they have the fur of a horse up to like the chest and then it's all covered in eagle
feathers up to its face and across its wings and they have giant eagle clawed talons on their
front feet and horse hooves on their back they are all a majestic kind of very bright gray and
white and eva says uh how long how long have you have you been been fighting against the
cult of the dragon uh it feels like forever this is the first break we've had in months
how about you uh well i've i've recently joined the city guard it's only been
it's only been a couple months um but uh but yeah i mean the the stories that we've we've
heard of you uh throughout the guard uh and your friends uh have been been quite quite the
tales that you've you've gone through and you know we we would if if you know if we
hopefully we make it out on the other side maybe maybe you wouldn't consider training some of us
or working with some of us maybe even joining the guard yourself i might be a little forward
of me uh well maybe like i said i i like to be outdoors more but it seems like you're
working with animals and i i definitely love that let's try and get through stopping the cult
before we make any plans beyond that we're still a few a few steps away i think from
being anywhere close to reaching our goal with that she uh her face kind of flushes a little
red and she kind of looks to the grouches yes yes of course of course uh priorities first
eva how close can i get to one of these they're incredible and i'd love to i don't know
would you like to ride one oh uh oh uh is that possible of course of course it's possible i mean
it's your Nulara thea and flint who would stop you and she goes to uh saddle up a couple of
the of the hippogriffs before you say anything else this is amazing have you ever ridden one
before no you're in you're in for a treat she finishes saddling up the hippogriffs and you
mount on top of one uh maybe make an animal handling check i'm good at that as you kind of
step out as an 18 ava looks to you and says you just have to be confident oh it seems you know
what you're doing okay um well let's uh let's take a spin around the bay and and then uh
come on back your hippogriff kind of leads you out and you soared out of the airy and down
over the trees and glide right along the the surface of the ocean and you spends
better part of a day out flying around on hippogriffs with ava it's the best day of my
life it's not even my real life it's the best day of carla's life never mind new laura new
laura yeah you're kind of nailing it flint you've just entered seren's fine swords and you've been
greeted by a female younger looking female dwarf and she says what can i uh what can i do
you for i was wondering if i would uh be able to convince you to let me use your shop for
a few things while i was here in town oh i use my shot well it's it's not exactly my
shop let me uh let me go ask my dad and she yells to the back hey dad uh guy here wants to use the
shop and you hear a grumbled yell from the back use the shop who's gonna use the funny storms out
and he looks up at you and he says you think you can use a tool here well i i have my own
tools i just don't have a shop so i was wondering if i could uh you know pay a little
little gold and maybe use video supplies and and make a few things for my friends
pay me a goal okay you pay me a gold and you show me what you got there city boy let's see
what you got going on all right what what am i showing him russ you know you know you you pull
you a amino uh i you can show them whatever you want but uh whenever you want to make a
kind of a smith's tools check i think you've got a proficiency modifier for that
um at least you should oh yes yes i do that is a 24 so you get to work uh on a piece of iron
that they've got set there and he's watching you as you're shaping it and forming it uh into
what are you forming it into uh i'll say a a war hammer so probably just the head of the
hammer this so you've got a solid piece of iron that he's got laid out there and you
begin to work on that heating it and hammering it and you kind of catch him out of the corner
your eye you hear him say well oh oh okay well he's got a bit of a smile to him and he says you
know what you're doing okay you pay me you pay me five gold a day for whatever however many
days you need you can use the shop for whatever you want you just gotta stay out of
our way if we got jobs to do okay that sounds great says good good all right says to
his daughter you just keep an eye on and make sure he doesn't walk away with anything okay
and he storms back to the uh to his office in the back there and she begins to work on
just looks like she's working on a sheet of plate armor i think is what i said if it isn't
i'll change it it is now he says uh uh you uh you you look familiar do i do i know you
from somewhere uh jeez i don't know i've been here before but not for a while now
name's flint flint flint the the flint i don't know maybe the one who's going around trying
to stop the the cult for the council flint uh yep guilty as charged fire beer oh my goodness
wow we're in the in the face of a famous person here i see well my name's uh desa it's
pleasure to meet you and she comes over to shake your hand nice to meet you too desa
um well what uh what you said you're making some things for your friends here yeah yeah i had a
couple uh little gifts in mind so i was gonna gonna see if i could rummage through your
supplies and see if i could uh find some fun things for them of course of course well
anything of ours is yours here so uh as you as my as my dad said he gets a little grumbly
sometimes but yeah five gold a day and you shall play with what you will i'm not very good at
rhymes apparently it's kind of endearing isn't it a little bit but you know it's uh something
we can all work on sure sure um and she gets back to work on the uh on the plate armor and
you what do you do i'm gonna go through the um i guess the the supplies see what they got going
on because i have a a few things in mind so i need some green star metal some fire brass
and some salarian true steel he wasn't wasting time while he was standing around and he was
learning all sorts of stuff right uh yeah so you you sort through the the bricks and
everything they've got there and you find the the green star metal and the fire brass just fine
but you don't seem to find any of the salarian true steel uh disa quick question for ya do you
guys happen to have any salarian true steel around here salarian true uh let me take a
look in the let me take a look down down in the cellar there let me see what if i can
find for you how big of a piece do you need uh not very big just uh i don't know enough to
to make a small something or other with okay i'll go see what i can find we might have some scraps
down there she goes down uh back through the back office there um and meanwhile somebody walks
into the front and looks at you and says uh hey i uh i got a job for you here oh so uh this
isn't my store let me go let me go get the guy in charge isn't yours okay and i uh i go over
to where sarin came from and and yell for him do you yell dad
papa and he he comes grumbling out and says what what we couldn't handle a little job okay
let's see here what could i do you for no this uh yeah yeah that guy needs some help okay
okay and he goes over and they're they're talking and uh disa comes back up with a small
piece of salarian true steel and she says uh well this is i think this is the last piece
we have we should have another shipment in soon but hopefully this does it for you and it looks
to be about the size you need for whatever you're doing how convenient it's like it was
meant to be uh thanks disa yeah yeah of course anything else just give me a holler will do
and uh you you spin around and uh the the old man's stand in front of you and says uh
you want to you want to earn a you want to earn a couple bucks sure what do you need
this guy needs uh he needs a sword whipped up i don't really want to do it uh maybe
maybe i'll pay you to do it you seem to know what you're doing with a hammer
uh tell you what i can use the practice i'll just do it for you pro bono he gives you the
specs on uh on the type of sword and uh and type of steel that this guy wants this
sword made out of and says all right well uh if it's messed up at least i didn't pay you
for it so yeah you do what you will and he walks back into his office confidence in me is
overwhelming his business sense is interesting i know he's like i don't want to do this job
why the fuck do you have this this uh smith's shop then mister you don't want to build stuff
what are you doing uh so what do you uh do you set to work on the sword first or do you
set to work on one of your trinkets first oh i'll get this sword done first i think
you grab the steel that he's looking for and you set to work and disa says uh well he usually
he's getting older uh he doesn't really want to do a lot of work very often anymore it's
interesting that he trusted you he must have really impressed him but uh yeah well all
right you you do a good job there you should probably uh take over the store then at some
point there disa yeah well that's that's the plan hey he's been he's been kind of
kind of we've been having a less and less business through since uh guy down the guy
down the street opened up brian the the sword master yeah i saw that uh it sounded pretty
flashy yeah he's got uh he's got a bigger shop than what we've got here so he churns
things out a little quicker he's got more people working for him so they tend to go to
him but uh yeah i mean there's a few a few diehards who know that uh you know that my
dad sarin he uh he puts in he puts in a good day's work usually apparently not today um
and uh and churns out much better product than what uh than what brian has but uh he's got
bigger he spends money i think he i think he's got a deal with some of the some of the
military and try and i don't know shut out smaller business who knows picked up a little
bit since this whole dragon cult thing though so yeah we'll see we'll see if the business lasts
to the end of the year and i mean i am i am next in line for it so just a stirring indictment
well i hope i hope it lasts for you then yeah yeah me too all right well sorry i will i'll
let you get back to get back to your work there and she she turns and gets back to
working on the piece of armor there plot twist flint never comes back to the three of us
every time we check in with him he is just working at the smith shop totally i'm just
working for free at the smith shop trying to turn it around um remember that time that
that flint used to be with us that was great didn't he have like a million hit points
he was he was by far the strongest so it's it's too bad he's there his muscles are
getting bigger all that smithing work but he's just not here to work with us anymore unfortunately
uh so uh sad so flint you continue working on uh the sword and uh following your trinkets and
carrying on conversation uh with disa for for the rest of the day
thea what are you up to stoned and got your feathers they're like a bead and bobble store
by any chance right next door you didn't have to walk far in fact you walked all the way around
the city looking for the beads and bobble store and it was right next door uh so you're walking
to the beads and bobble store betty's beads and bobbles betty i'm looking for the beads
and bobbles oh betty's not here dear it's me enid enid i need some beads and bobbles
oh okay yeah just help yourself there are you looking for a specific kinder color
uh i need some glass beads and bobbles oh aren't we a little hoity-toity fancy pants pants okay
and she leads you towards the glass and beads and bobbles i choose some some choice beads
and bobbles what you got there you got some hippogriff feathers and glass beads and bobbles
looks like you're making something real fancy there doesn't it might be
uh i choose i don't know like 12 beads and or bobbles um well that'd be uh that's all you need
there okay well that'd just be 12 beads and bobble that's you know that'll be 10 silvers
i hand her the 10 silvers and i ask her if there is a fur shop anywhere close
if there is a fur shop anywhere close a pelt shop yeah yeah you can go down to the uh to the first
first no i'm sorry leather leather well what do you need you need leather or further i need
leather she looks close into your eyes and she says oh you okay you sure you need the leather
okay oh i need leather you look like the type who needs the leather dear she says just a
couple blocks down you'll find uh oh henry's leathers oh henry leathers oh henry leathers
well i also find a delicious peanutty chocolate bar i mean one can i know right
you could go for an oh henry right about now oh henry's leathers it's right down
i'm giving landmarks now i better keep these in in check yeah oh henry's leathers he's got
the finest leathers in town i tip my invisible hat to her and i leave the store and i walk over
to oh henry's uh leathers little cut scene enid says oh she's stoned off her rocker
as the door closes and you walk into oh henry's leathers usually i'm like a really
like fia is a functional high like this is her general sure kind of uh but not today
today she's celebrating today she's in the winter solstice spirit sure um i i enter with a flourish
i've got my feathers i've got my bottles i bust in like and i slide in and there's nobody in
there okay the wind set in my sails a little bit i start to browse around looking for a
um like a deep green um thick leather you begin to look through all the they've like stacks of
different hides and leathers and everything that they've got there and you hear a cane
and kind of an unsteady step come from the back there and he says oh what oh oh a customer
oh uh what what can i do for what can i do for you they're pretty less i understand why they call
you oh henry oh he just said oh four times oh yeah oh yeah i'm looking for some fine leather
to make i would like it to be green to make what oh yeah i made one of those last week
i used red instead of green i need green i needed to be thick and of good quality
he kind of stares blankly off into the distance i said thick and good quality i heard you my
dear i was just falling asleep he slowly walks over like patients trying slowly
to one of the larger stacks of of hides and he's i'm gonna i'm gonna you see him trying to
lift and he's like struggling to i'm gonna need your help my dear i think it's in this pile
here it's down below here yeah right right here he points you to where it is and gets you to
i i i rummage and help lift you pull it out and it is the finest greenest
thickest leather you've ever seen is that what you're looking for it is exactly what i'm looking
for do you do any engraving on these engraving yeah bossing i don't know what do you do with
um what yeah i do i do all the leathers and what she what you said professional
yep i've been in this business for 87 80 17 years it's not a number
hmm yeah
uh okay uh i would like um three feet of this leather and i pass him a piece of paper
oh on it is what i would like to have nice fully amazing that's really good really whisked me away
oh i see here on this paper what i would like to have embossed or in great whatever happens
to leather i'm not sure i think embossed is the right word that looks like a dwarf in penis
it's not he flips it over oh yeah no those are doodles this side okay this side
i would like to have this embossed all over the of course right yeah yeah you come back
tomorrow i'll have this all done up for you um i just gotta ask for half now and half when
you pick it up though okay uh so i just need to you know two two gold pieces i hand him two
gold pieces and then i'll catch you on the flip side and he slowly got it oh henry drags
the leather back into his embossing emblazoning and doodling area and uh yeah he is only slightly
concerned about what's happening with that piece of leather back there anything else you need or
what's going on with you nope that is that is good for that but i would also i'd like
to go out and find um like where would i find like metal tacks from a metal tack shop i'd like to
go to the metal tack shop yeah you you're wandering around trying to find a tack shop
and you walk into sarin's fine swords was that the bell on the door yeah oh it's fantastic
i walk in and i'm like good sir 24 of your five flint oh hey thea i see him like wielding a hammer
and like he's filthy and sweaty and i'm like what do you work here no i just uh just getting
in some practice figured while we were here for a few days i'd get some smithing in
um uh do i do i place my order with you is there disa steps forward she's like no no no
you can you can deal with me dear what what can i do what can i do for you i i just need
some fine brass tacks made for some leather work that i'm doing sure how big do you need
them about half inch okay i hold up a sign behind her that says overcharge her she's a
rube says yeah okay um how many did you need 24 24 all right well that'll be
yeah we can probably have that ready for you tomorrow we got a couple orders ahead of you
but we can have it for you later tomorrow i'm in no rush don't trust this guy he whips it
out all the time oh really and i turn and i leave and then i yell i'm good for it
she didn't pay i yell she says she says to flint does she normally not pay for things
yeah she does that i'll i'll pay for her stuff don't worry about it okay that's fair okay and
she uh she goes back to work go back to new laura landing the hippogriffs into the
hippogriff
i feel like that's not a real word i don't know not only because a hippogriff isn't a real animal
but hippogriff is what i have a problem with like that can't be what it's called it's an
area i liked it although like the owl is and uh ava hops off and leading the hippogriffs
back in and she said that was the most fun i've had and i mean i you know there's been
cult fighting going on but that's been the most fun i've had in such a long time
you know i made friends with a dinosaur a while ago and i thought that would be the
coolest shit i ever did but this is better dinosaur that was amazing holy shit you guys
do crazy things that was incredible thank you so thank you that's all i can say thank you
that was amazing it's my my pleasure my pleasure anytime you need you need a hippogriff or anyone
to tag along you just let me let me know uh oh okay uh thanks ava thanks for all your
hard work you're doing too to help fight the help fight the cult i think we're gonna do it
i i i have faith i have faith every every day now i'm gonna just go back to my camp
just just exhilarated sure yeah you uh you bid your farewell to ava and philip who's still just
just guarding the area and uh and you head back to your to your camp anything anything else you
kNulara's doing uh no i i spent some time in the woods i hunt for some small game
i just hang out now that was that was a lot of excitement and probably enough excitement
for me until i have to get back for uh for the meetings i guess before before the meeting i will
go back to that suite eat some more sweets maybe have a bath you know get ready to like
be in company again of course yeah donnie uh donnie is with you he says uh well uh
well that was the best time i think i've had in a long time there it was the best donnie
is the best thing we've ever done so good so good we should we should do that more
often where we just go live in trees and stuff because that was better than fighting biting
dragons i'm tired of that shit anyways i agree donnie let's let's get this cult thing wrapped
up and get back to doing what we want to do yeah living in the woods let's do it and uh you
guys spend the rest of the uh reasonable time in the woods and then you head back to the
to the apartment or or place provided uh flint you spent the the kind of the better part of two
days trying to get your your stuff arranged and the jobs that sarin has thrown your way
which has been more than one um and you have spent some time talking with disa and uh you
feel a bit of a connection to her after spending you know spending two days working
side by side with her putting together all of uh all of these jobs that you've been doing
and uh on your on your last day there sarin comes out and he says so you know i know uh i
know you said pro you know pro bono pro bono free which i took is free but you know
he hands you back the 10 gold that you handed him and hands you another 10 gold he says you've
done some fine work for me there and uh i gotta i gotta give you a little bit more and says thank
you uh thank you for your for your work here give me a little bit of a rest i've been trying
to keep up with that brian guy and he's shady business that guy need me to uh need me to
go talk to this brian guy you can go talk you can talk to anybody you want in the city
i don't know what you i don't know what you tell them well you just you seem to think you
shady so i can go talk to him see what's up well i mean if you got some time no rush because i know
you've just kind of gathered from what you've you've been talking about with disa and questions
he's asked that you know what you're what you're doing he says uh you know no no rush maybe
maybe next time you're passing through town here maybe uh just stop in and uh see what's
going on in uh in his hut and maybe report back you know see what's going on i could
do that that'd be great and he goes back into his office uh and you finish up the last project
you're working on um and disa says uh well i uh it sounds like it sounds like you'll be back
i'll be back and i throw her the 20 gold put that to good use thank you uh well i i hope
i hope i see you again i shoot her a thumbs up of course i cannot get my shit together
we're here she's looking for a meaningful connection
more fun when i don't play along with us we we knew but we didn't really know until now that
flint will die alone like now we know oh my god that's fair that was really special and as
you uh flip your thumbs up and leave no no come on i give her like an actual goodbye
okay uh so you guys you guys say your goodbyes and as you're leaving theo walks in to collect
her tax t a c k yeah what's up what's up what's up oh she's back she's still high
uh two days is it a bender i don't think it's called a bender um i hand her
i don't know how much these tax costs i already paid for him she just hands you the tax i wait
until flint walks out the door i watch him
and you guys are staring at each other as he's walking past the window and he kind of like
walks down like as if on an elevator an escalator
classic an escalator yeah or like he's pretending to walk downstairs yeah that too
no he's like gliding oh yeah he is sufficiently freaked out what kind of technology is this
there's trains in this world there could be escalators i turn toward her and i say
i know he's already covered it he's like that how much do i owe you
uh he he he paid it up it was it was just a couple gold it's fine i'll hide it in his
room somewhere fair enough untoward to have a friend pay for their own solstice gift
that yeah well no no that's that's solstice gift no you guys you guys
celebrating in a day or so we are oh that's that's very nice oh maybe you should come by
oh well maybe maybe i will where are you guys where you guys celebrating oh just up just up
just over um at the just over and out uh at the brotherhood yeah at the brotherhood um the
castle uh at the castle at the castle yeah oh oh okay uh should it should i just ask for
for you or yeah for me for flint and you're sure you thea yeah okay yeah did i say for me
for flint for thea yeah yeah she kind of says well has a little smile and says okay well i'll
do that i think that some of us would really like to see you there hands you your tax and
says well i will see you tomorrow tomorrow is winter solstice celebration yes it is tomorrow
i take off my invisible hat and a flourish and back out of the door
door closes just weird as fucking stone people have ever met
um and you go back to the leather shop and you walk in and again there's nobody there
i just yell oh henry oh
oh oh hello you're the soft i meet him halfway oh thank you thank you here's your
embroidered stuff got i hope it's unembroidered but it plays in emblazoned and embossed it's you
look at it and it's fine is it covered in dicks
no okay all right i like they had to roll can you roll for the edge of my seat please
you know two two two more gold and then we're good i'll give you one more and a kiss on the
cheek oh fuck i don't respond to that just trying to pay my bills here lady i give him three
gold pieces a kiss on the cheek and i say happy winter solstice happy winter solstice to you my
dear nightly
hello there and merry winter solstice to you it's me your dungeon master and bringer of winter
solstice joy ross More thank you for joining us for episode 28 of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled
a winter solstice holiday pretty on the nose i know i hope you're enjoying the episode we
all collectively had a blast recording this one and talk about it almost on the daily
how well we feel it went it is on the longer side but winter solstice is the perfect time
to take some downtime and get to know our adventures a little deeper which is what we
were hoping for i wanted to take a moment to say thank you for joining us and sticking with
us for the last year our next episode will be our one year anniversary episode and it's been
a crazy year that from a podcast side of things has gone better than we ever could have imagined
we launched the podcast made some great friends with you our listeners as well as some of the
other amazing podcasts out there that we have mentioned on previous episodes make sure you
check out our friends of the pod page at dumbdragons.com to hear from all of those
amazing folks i think 2018 is not just going to be a great year for Dumbgeons and Dragons but
a great year just as a whole and i can't wait to try some new things and continue on this
great adventure with you so again thank you and merry winter solstice i mentioned as usual off
the top of the episode that we are on Patreon and i may have mentioned that i made an oops
with some of the reward levels i don't know if i went back to that or not the episode
dedications i originally had at the five dollar level but in my haste i'd been giving it to
everyone so i mean good news for everyone i've made that small change to the rewards levels
to make sure each tier is getting appropriate value for their contribution to the community
if you are already a patron thank you from the bottom of our hearts and if you were a
patron before december 1st you should be receiving your winter solstice holiday card
soon if you haven't received it already if you joined us after december 1st up until
today i have still sent you a card however it will be to you later because that's how time
works thank you though we appreciate every single one of you so if you want to check out
our Patreon community visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast and for as little as a dollar
a month you'll have access to all of the amazing bonus content we have including episodes
and all the other great rewards that we have at the different tiers oh uh you can also find
us on spotify now which is pretty exciting i think when we were recording this we weren't
sure if we were going to be approved or not so there are some jokes in the blooper reel
alluding to the fact that we might not make it in but we did and now you can find us on there
if you regularly use spotify or if you know someone who does just let them know that they
can find us on there all of our socials are listed at dumb dragons dot com including spotify
or you can find the links to share with your friends and family who may be into us in the
description below along with every other link mentioned today the next episode will be out
january 3rd 2018 exactly one year from when we first went live with our first two or three
episodes and it will be the wrap-up episode to this one not to give away too much in the episode
coming up and it will also kick off our january of giveaways 2018 gifts for all or those who
follow the directions that we give i'll come up with a better name i promise we want to start
the year off with a bang so make sure you are caught up and keep listening to and following us
throughout january to get in on the great giveaways that we've got coming your way
back to the episode let's see if i roll high on Grancis's meal again he's been doing really
well for himself i'm kind of proud hopefully that keeps up merry winter solstice and if we
don't talk before all the best to you and yours during the holiday season and happy new
year we'll talk to you again in 2018 and you guys all separately get back to your apartments
and it's the next day all your trinkets have been wrapped and you uh you hear Grancis yell
down the hall he's like oh boy dinner's getting ready down here banging on the walls are we all
in the same room are we in separate rooms no you're in separate rooms you're like a it's
like an apartment style it's like a hotel essentially where they put up their their traveling
guests and stuff i need a couple of the sweets in my room just in case what Grancis
made of shit sure so based on past experiences it won't be but i'm still having a really hard
time because his name is Grancis and that just really rubs me the wrong way i believe my room
i guess get ready to go have dinner Grancis is uh you walk up to his door and he is dressed
in his finest top hat and tuxedo tails wow i didn't realize it was this fancy clothes
and he says welcome to my humble abode fia walks out takes one look at Grancis turns
around goes back in changes into fancier clothes she for sure had a bathrobe on
that is art imitating life amy
um maybe i love it it's my favorite look of yours thea does that and he's patiently waiting by the
door uh he was mid-bow when you kind of came around the corner but he held the bow until
you came back and then stands back up and closes the door behind you and comes in and
says a feast is served and then there's a knock at the door and he's he looks around and
flint thea new laura are all there and he's did did we invite somebody else uh maybe i don't know
that makes it sound like you invited somebody else i don't remember who did you invite i can't
okay go in the fucking kitchen and get another table setting if we invited somebody else you
gotta tell me i quickly like i bustle into the kitchen because i'm wearing fancy stuff
and that's how thea walks when she has fancy things on she bustles he opens the door and
disa is there and you see them having a brief conversation and disa enters the room and says uh
hi hi everybody uh flint come on in disa i come out with a big smile on my face and a plate
i put a plate an extra plate down everybody sits down around the table and
Grancis says well it's the uh it's the i didn't know disa was coming i've
hold on he runs into his back room and you hear some banging and clanging and
ripping of things and just things being torn apart and then he comes out a little bit his
hat's a little bit of skew straightens it up and says okay well it's gift giving time we do
gifts before dinner who goes first oh i do all right thea what do you got
um to Nulara the bitchinist bitch that i know a scabbard and i hand her a hand crafted by yours
truly leather scabbard uh embossed with protective runes i'm making all this shit up you guys i
don't know if that's a thing the i love it what i had him emboss on it was protective
room you should write it down because i can't keep up with you scat oh no okay it's it's up
to you carla you need to write this down because it belongs to you okay okay so it's
like a deep deep emerald like four no more of forest green um scabbard that attaches onto
your belt or there's a loop that you can wear it as like i don't know like over the shoulder
i'm not like a purse i don't know um for flame tongue to go into and it's embossed
with runes as a protective spell uh that ensures that your sword may never be taken from you
without your permission it also has um brass it is held together by shiny handcrafted by flint
maybe brass tacks um and there may or may not be an embossment of a dwarf penis on there
we're not sure i didn't look carefully it is whatever you told him to do i rolled for it
it could have very well been dwarf penises but it wasn't i would have given it to you anyway
uh to flint i hand him a feather fan it is delicate it is it is large it's comically large
um it is um bedazzled at the bottom with um glass baubles and beads
and i just say you'll thank me later uh and for Grancis i hand him a it is a scrawled
old old notebook um that is filled with the recipes from uh my elven clan that i've had
for a while but since i've been on the road for so long i have not been doing any cooking
and since that seems to be something grants this is in two i hand him that and i say do
your worst which is a really weird thing to say to give someone a gift but the is high
right now so it sounds super appropriate oh thanks it's actually it's actually a really
touching gesture she just gave her like family's recipes to Grancis he's flipping through and
he's like oh thank thank you thea hey thank you very much thanks thea flint throws a thumbs
up flint's like don't know what i'm gonna use this for but i'm sure it's gonna come
in handy in battle am i right i can only assume it won't it's not it's not for battle flint come
on now i i didn't tell me what it is for i nope i'm not gonna i tip my invisible hat
people have picked up a lot of affectations that we have never had well thea invisible
hats and thumbs up it's the winter solstice miracle thea's as high like the highest she's
ever been it's been a very stressful few months for us so it's true you know i just
thought i'd let loose a little bit do a little high shopping make some questionable presents
i don't know i like it well my my present is beautiful and i love it and you obviously put
a lot of time and effort into it so thank you you're welcome who's next
next fuck it i'm next and he hands everybody a bag disa included and you all kind of simultaneously
unwrap them and they are sketched pictures of each individual person standing next to
Grancis including disa wow he did that super fast in the back room you guys
yes that's impressive and they are i don't know what to say they're in very nice hand sculpted
metal and wooden frames with very nice ornate beads and jewels and gems put throughout them
they're very beautiful and this and the sketch sketches are like exquisite like they are
lifelike Grancis is there anything you can't do oh i have stories but nope nope i don't
think there is those look great Grancis thank you Grancis oh anytime does disa respond at all
disa says this is i don't know you or when i was gonna say this is mostly just awkward
well i don't know you or when this this pose would have taken place but it's beautiful thank
you thank you i'm i'm sorry i did not that did not bring any gifts um i just i just came hopefully
to do partake in the company but thank you very much Grancis oh no problem i love it
when you talk to yourself sometimes i just like to talk to myself i know it's just really not
you get lonely sometimes i know and then it's
oh god okay i need to get i want i i reach into my pocket one hand in each pocket and i pull out
uh a handful of oak bark and i'm like thea hold out your hand i do it i'm super excited
just loosen my hand i just hand her some oak bark and then i reached my other pocket
in my other hand i give her three nutshells and just kind of look at her like uh
i i look i
sorry how many nutshells three three nutshells i kind of not specifically i know you would know
this being the nature buff you are uh sure let's just say like they're acorn shells
that seems reasonable uh i'm sure you know because you're so magical what you can use
these for but um that that bark that handful of oak bark you can use to cast the spell
bark skin and with those three nutshells you can cast the spell confusion thank you so much new
ara only one use each of course but those are the components you need to cast those spells
flint i i made this for you and i and i and i reach into uh to another pocket and i pull out
a rabbit's foot oh nice this rabbit's foot will will bring you luck i mean that's that's
what they're for right i mean so so i've been told in the past so that with that rabbit's foot
you will get one d4 extra roll to use once a day this is your lucky rabbit's foot nice
uh i also give uh donnie some jerky that i made but you know i've just been feeding
that to him but that was the present that i got for donnie for winter solstice
okay first up i reach into my whatever the hell i have these presents in probably a bag
i grab a package that looks like it's a uh just a chef's knife that's all wrapped up
and i give that to Grancis oh this looks oh feel the weight on that look at that
that's like perfect and he he runs back into his kitchen he pulls out he brings out a
carrot and he chops it on the table he's like that's perfect action
thank you that my good man is made from auricalum and it will never need to be sharpened
well that doesn't sound like the stone that you were looking for in the thingamajig but
okay that's good i like it because i added it afterwards oh you were there for two days
it's all good it's all good i also thought that yeah since we're going to Grancis's house
he's probably going to give us something so i better have something for him i like it
yeah thank you all right um to donnie i give him a little green star metal dragon claw
glove oh wow there but the dragon star claw he puts it on this is pretty it fits like a glove
and i know he doesn't use his claws for much but it will give him a plus one damage bonus
well there you go and he gets to look like michael jackson yeah he does because he only got one
and to Nulara uh i just say why don't you take a closer look at flame tongue and i've
replaced the handle of flame tongue when she wasn't looking it's now a you didn't have
right sorry it's now a fire brass handle and it lightens the sword so she can add plus one
to her hit attack like for her opportunity to hit thank you flint that's that's incredible
and to thea i give her a charm bracelet made from salarian true steel that is
and uh it has a moon is the only charm that is on it is a little moon charm well because
you know she loves her some uh moon damage i forget the name of the spell but i know it has
moon in it i'm also a druid of the circle of the moon oh even better than doubled up on the moon
theme uh and thea that charm bracelet will give you a chance to reroll a wisdom sage
but i guess one per day thank you flint i get i run over and give you a big hug
hug received grants says oh that's a good good winter solstice celebration gift
giving if i've ever seen what's been many many a year since i had one of these so it's nice to
nice to have you guys around really is i know we've we haven't known each other that long
but i appreciate you coming by and he says well let's uh let's dig in and you have a feast of
the finest bird that they've that he's managed to find and various
like fidget roasted vegetables over an open fire and uh and he uh everybody dishes out and they
dig in and you are all discussing you know things that have gone on and telling stories
and you all begin to feel a little funny
and you look to grants and he says oh oh hold on and he goes and looks at his
he comes out with a big dusty old book and he looks at it and you're looking at him as he's
reading in this book and he's shrinking in size but so are you says oh fuck guys i don't
i don't i don't know oh no and you guys shrink down to the size of a thumb and you are quickly
surrounded by two or three dozen tiny very colorful frog-like people and they're screaming
for the sock for the sock for the sock
music in today's episode was by Kavin mcleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io
uh does anybody remember what they did last time for your own personal game
that was that the weirdest way to to ask that question do you want a summary or do you want
me to talk about what happened when we leveled up i would be happy to do either all right you
guys leveled up let's uh let's do oh shit um and you guys do a shit uh and you guys
uh
fuck and you guys leveled up last night it's gonna be that kind of game what here let me let me run
you through what happened while that siren was going i rolled a d20 and was like fuck yeah i'll
add that to my hit points wait that's not how it works no that's not it at all i'm sorry i
called you not likeable that wasn't what i that's okay now that's canon i'm not likeable
i know but did like the real carla die a little bit inside because you're like me and very much
like being liked oh carla desperately wants to be liked new laura could not give a fuck
she likes you guys but generally doesn't care doesn't care at all merry christmas
tom spent the better part of this interaction naked yes that's right flint yes well
actually i don't know who knows we don't have video skype on no one knows anything about
that what's a hippogriff is it a flying hippopotamus what harry potter come on now
come on it's like it's a flying harry no flint has been just just just taciturn this whole
time other than the then his exposed penis he's barely spoken
because his nudity spoke volume it's true you know you're right it really did you're right also
i've been working on attaching like stats to these gifts i'm gonna give you guys so it's
good you guys have been doing all the talking oh oh it's magic why did you tell us not to
sing and you were literally the one doing it you can't handle it because he said he
that we should into now who needs spotify right oh forget about spotify that's not
Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production